If my mother were alive, I would call her and ask how she was doing? She would tell right away that something was wrong and keep asking me until I confessed. I would tell her that although I did not have a bad day, it was a disappointing day.
I would replay my day that started with my dog Delilah barking to go outside about 3:30am that was followed by her going in and out of the house for the next 20 minutes. Since I had a headache, I took some medicine and waited for it to take effect.
Since I fell back asleep after the morning ritual of Delilah’s wake-up call, I overslept. Of course, how else should Monday begin. After making my way into the office, I had several high-priority issues for a customer that did not get resolved until 4 hours later.
My work day was uneventful until I spoke to my supervisor and was informed that I did not get a coveted position at work. Now, I did not expect that I would be chosen because the person that was picked clearly has more experience that I do but still I am disappointed.
If my mother were alive, she would say something that would make me feel better. I know she would say, “once you’ve done your best, that’s all you can do” and I would follow-up with my typical “but sometimes your best isn’t enough.”
If my mother were alive, I’m sure she’d remind me to be glad that I have a job in a tight economy and I would agree.
If my mother were alive, I would tell her that I’m trying to see the glass half-full and not half-empty but today, I’m not doing such a good job.
If my mother were alive, we would probably talk about how the Washington Redskins sucked last night and lost to our rival, the Dallas Cowboys. She would undoubtedly know all the stats on all the players and question the plays that were executed. We would have a good laugh and wait for next week’s game.
If my mother were alive, I would hear her smoking a cigarette the way you can hear smokers during a telephone conversation.
If my mother were alive, I would have received an email from her that contained a joke she found on the internet.
If my mother were alive, I would find comfort in hearing her voice and although my circumstances would not have changed, I would feel better. We would end our conversation with the expectation of talking the next day because we talked everyday.
If only my mother were alive.
In memory of my mother, Clemetine “Tina” Lee
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